Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I have Mail....Bulk Mail

Whoever said email was ‘impersonal’? There’s someone out in cyberspace who knows not just my email address. HE knows my innermost fears, my darkest desires, my deepest complexes.

Is someone I know talking to me via bulk mail? Take this one from which arrives with the predictability of my morning paper.

Tone, Firm and Increase the Size of Your Breasts Naturally
Great for......
Firming and Uplifting
Smaller Breasted Women
Asian Women!!!

I’ve never made a clean breast of my breast complexes. But HE knows my cup size, that I’m from Asia and that I’m teetering on the edge of financial disaster. Look at the reminder I got from HIM via


* Tired of Calls From Bill Collectors?

I’d love to start living again. But if I do, I’d like to live life inside a slimmer, sexier chassis. And what do I know? HE has the solution to my problem - again. tells me how.

Lose 8-10 Inches of FAT in ONE Hour Guaranteed.

Breakthrough technology Helps you Lose INCHES,
Cleanses and Detoxifies your System!

Detoxify my system? just convinced me that detoxification was not all bad and that sex was good.

Indeed a HeavenSent Treasure of Pleasure!!
To entice your Passion!

Right now, like AT&T, I fear I’m going to have to reach out and touch someone - unless my joints deteriorate before then. But I know exactly where to go to regenerate that loss. suggests an unbelievable course of treatment at $37.95 per bottle of 120 tablets, plus $5.95 shipping and handling.

Joint Heal has chicken collagen in it as well as the famed glucosamine sulfate. It also has MSM in it along with
Chondroitin Sulfate.

He has the woman in me figured out. But an ambiguous note from makes me doubt the Omniscient One.

Men…..Stop being ashamed of your penis size!
Click here now to be amazed!
...And...women, get this for your boyfriend/husband. It really works!

Should I use the weapon I just found in that last message from

Internet Software Program for Online Investigations
Find out anything about Anyone Online
Click here for more information!

God help my bulk mail folder. Click.


Harini Narayan said...

I love this blog and enjoy your pieces....Will keep checking for updates....Harini

Kalpana Mohan said...


Thank you so much! Which writer doesn't want to hear a kind word? Come to think of it, nasty comments are welcome too because at least you know your stuff is being read. Great to hear from you!